On camp 'A's' side.....you have the women who have children and in camp 'B' women who don't.
Camp 'A' can be....well, lets just say it....bitches to camp 'B' and trust me, women can be cruel. Camp 'A' tends to think and I'm generalizing here...but many tend to feel like they are more of a woman than those in camp 'B'. The barren are selfish and spend all their time on themselves. They can't attend all the 'cool' play dates, simply for the fact that they HAVE NO CHILDREN! A play-date is where they sit and swap their favorite diaper brands, rash ointments and new learning DVD's that are out. They swap organic baby food recipes and talk all about the last visit to the doctor, ooh's and ahhh's galore and dote on each others pookie-kins! I've even seen play dates where these women drink...and when I say drink...I mean knocking down the wine! That should be a sign....! And by the way......I'm in camp 'A' so....yeah.
The women in camp 'B' I'm sure feel like less of a woman. Like a 'old maid' and the biological clock can be a bitch....a bitch at 3am, drunk and banging on your door!! And as women get older, this bitch bangs even harder on that door....and the feeling to procreate gets stronger. This as we all know is biology....something that keeps the species from going extinct.
Here's the thing....that almost ALL women with children would NEVER dare breathe even a SINGLE word and I seriously....(could be shot) for breaching CODE: SHUTTHEF*UP....so strap on your seat belts because this is going to be.....ba-rutally honest.
Secretly..and I mean, oh so secretly....camp 'A' is envious of camp 'B'! Camp 'A', while their kids are all groomed with ribbons and bows and the most adorable little shoes to match, are being chauffeured around in the latest mini-vans with little dvd players on the backs of the seats, enjoying that chicken nugget happy meal with apple fries and a juice, oh isn't life grand....the mom is thinking, "ok, play date done. Kids are fed so that means I may be able to bag dinner. Oh crap, I forgot, I need to pick up cupcakes for the preschool class tomorrow...so I'll just swing by publix to grab those......and dry cleaning, don't forget to grab the dry cleaning......"
The trip to publix goes like this:
1. Find a parking space
2. Get the kids out of the car seats
3. Walk as fast as you can so that woman headed for the obnoxiously big, looks like a car, shopping cart- doesn't grab it before you can! HAHA biotch! <--- she thinks, but smiles nicely :)
4. Do your shopping, all the while hearing whining, keeping either child from climbing out of the cart. At some point,begging for something insues.
5. Aggravation starts to set in.
6. Looking at the clock starts to happen, because there are more errands to do.
7. The littlest one is smacking the older child. Loud crying is ringing throughout the store. People are now giving you the stink eye.
8. You make threatening faces to your own children and whisper things like, "stop it now!"
9. Even more people look and start to judge you
10. Your pace picks up because you just want to get the hell out of the store
11. You notice a woman about your age, casually shopping with no screaming kids in tow.....and THIS IS WHERE IT HAPPENS. When you can't help but feel just a tiny bit envious of this other, childless, woman.
Why? Because she has FREEDOM! This does not at all mean, women don't love their children. We all love our children, but there are times....when not having one looks okee dokee.
Women rarely ever speak about the 3am crying spells with the infant that won't go to sleep, is not hungry, has a clean diaper, has been rocked, burped, fed, loved, burped again and STILL won't go to sleep! Tears usually flow. Women are tired, sleep deprived and aggravated. You can feel terribly alone, frustrated, happy, overwhelmed, tired, bitchy, content, joyful, drained, regretful and blessed all in a 4 hour window.
Life as they have known it is forever changed. Gone are the days of grabbing your shoes and your purse and running to the store to quickly grab a gallon of milk. Now it involves getting children ready...and everything that goes with it. It can take a mom 30 minutes just to get everyone, including herself, ready to go to the store! Oh how quickly it's not about you anymore.
Did you ask for this? Is this how it's supposed to be? Some moms, deep inside are miserable until the child gets to a certain age when they can start to do more things for themselves. Now this depends on the woman, if she has any help from her husband, if she's incredibly patient or in my case, not......
Kids are a double edged sword...a blessing and a curse at the same time.
To all the women in camp 'B'......enjoy the time to yourself. Enjoy being able to fit into your clothes......go out with your girlfriends and dance the night away......take a shower & style your hair every day......and do whatever you want whenever the hell you want! Because honey, YOU can! :)
Kisses,
Aggie
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